CPUnk

A man wanted to build a house in a field.

He called his friends and neighbors to come and build the house in the field. They arrived and asked, “who owns this field?” He said he didn’t know — so they all left. The man found the field owner and spent half of everything he had to buy the field.

He called his friends and neighbors to come and build the house in the field. They arrived and asked, “what shall we do first?” The man scratched his head and said he wasn’t sure. One neighbor suggested building the frame for the house. Another suggested deciding which color is should be. A few more began playing cards and drinking at the edge of the field. In no time, they were all either drunk or fighting. At midnight they all went home. Some were cursing each other, many were cursing him.

He found a friend who had built his home and asked him what came first. The friend answered, “You must first dig a foundation. But after that–” The man cut him off and said thank you, shaking his hand vigorously. He spent more of his savings buying shovels.

He called his friends and neighbors to come and build the house in the field. Half of them didn’t show up. The other half showed and started digging. He had too many shovels. The hole was finished. The friends asked, “what should we do now?” He said he did not know. They all left, sore and a little tired of this.

He went to his friend with the house and asked what to do next. His friend invited him into his own home and sat him down.

“Friend,”, he said, “you want to build a house, but you had place to put it. Then you wanted to build a house and did not know how. Then you came to someone who knows and didn’t listen. You are losing money, losing friends, and some day will likely lose your new home and your land. Why would I help you build a house like that?”

The man asked his friend, “Will you build my house for me?” The friend answered, “No, I cannot do that.” The man got cross and asked why he wouldn’t. The friend smiled and said, “It is not that I won’t, it is that I cannot.” The man asked if he was too busy to help a friend. The friend smiled and said, “You have asked me to come and build your house for you. That is impossible if you have no plan. I can come and build MY house for you — but then it would be mine, not yours. I am like all your other friends, I am willing to help you build your house. But if you do not have a vision, no amount of searching, no amount of digging, and no amount of asking will make it your house. Go and build your own house first in your mind, then come to me and I will help you do it in your field.”

So I dropped my Kindle, maybe about 6 inches — and it landed on its edge.  The corner has a crack, which affects the display.

I called them up and was told that since it’s “customer induced damage” I can have a replacement for $200.

Short answer — bye-bye Kindle.  I don’t need a $400 book that then becomes a $600 book if I drop it.  I’d rather have 30 hard-cover books in my library that I can share with my friends.

I know at least one person reading this who loves her Kindle — and as a working device, I say “hear hear!”

But in the long run, it’s just not practical to have a digital-ink device that costs so much and is so fragile.

Books weigh more, but they’re less fussy.  If you have one, keep it protected.  If you don’t — it’s just not worth it financially.

So to summarize, I’m a person who can afford to buy ten of these things, but the global savings on books, the cost to the publishers, the cost to the authors, and the cost to the readers is too high.

Here are the true shortcomings of the Kindle:

1. You can’t share books with friends, period.  Giving books is a wonderful way to share experiences with people.  With Kindle, we are all just that much more e-separated
2. It is too expensive.  $300-400 for the original device, plus the commitment to buy all your future books through it has you breaking even at around your 30th book purchase.  If you read a book every two weeks, you’ll be ahead in about a year.  If, like me, you read a book a month, it’s 3 years
3. It is limited in choice.  Kindle has about 180,000 books available for purchase.  That’s really awesome.  But there are millions of books in print.  I’d say that, for the most part, I’ve found my experience is that if I go and browse their choices I find something good.  But if I think of a book that I like and then go check them for it, it’s about 60/40 that I won’t find it.
4. Few “big” authors have published all their books to the Kindle.  If you get excited about an author, you’re never going to be able to read his/her entire oeuvre on the Kindle.
5. It’s fragile.  I dropped it 6 inches, half a foot.  Granted, it landed on edge — but well — that’s lame.  I can drop my phone from 6′ 3″ (the height of my ear) and it lives.  Sad.

Do I believe in e-ink?  Yep.  I’m looking forward to the future of digital publishing.  Am I a bleeding-edge purchaser?  Yep — I loves me some new technology.  Is this worth it for “civilians”?  Nope.  Not yet.  Wait for the following features:

1. Third party manufacturers.  If an online bookseller is the source of all our printed future — we’re done.  You need good ol’ American competition.
2. Open publishing standards.  If I can only buy books through Amazon OR Sony OR next company — that’s just going to be a failure.
3. Backlighting.  I love the passive quality of the e-paper — but being able to read it in the dark as a digital device is still sensible.  Having an “itty bitty booklight” clipped to your Kindle is just silly.
4. Whiter “paper”.  The color gradient is currently about the same as the original PalmOS screens.  It’s black on gray.  That’s going to have to change, and will.
5. Color.  That’s the killer change for e-ink.  When we have color e-ink, on open-platform third party screens — we’re done. 

If you have a Kindle — love your Kindle — befriend your Kindle and take care of it.

If you don’t have a Kindle — and aren’t just screaming in your gut to get one — wait.

To Boopsie: Whatup Homegirl?!!!  Partaaaaay!

To Kahnie: I am not insane.

To Hilly: If we’re both nuts at the same time, doesn’t it cancel it all out?

To Chris F: You’re probably not reading this anyway, so shut up.  Give my best to 5am.

To Chris V: I’m only including you because I included someone else named Chris.  You rock all the time.

To Jeff: Why are you reading this?  Get back to work!

To George: This is what a blog looks like — I can even get it to the top of the google list for the word “cpunk”

To Brett: I got the brains, you got the brawn — let’s get together and make lots of money (Pet Shop Boys)

To Mike: If I give a dollar to a man who then offers it to his brother on the eve of Eastertide, but it’s not during the solar equinox, should I refrain from eating meat for a week?

To Boopsie: I mention you twice because you keep score.  Partaaaay!

I just came up with that name when emailing a friend (work friend) … I think it summarizes everything I feel about this stupid machine.

I have to admit, if you are measuring mediocrity vs. mediocrity — this is much much better mediocrity than their old mediocrity.  But it still sucks.

Last night, I plugged the little device into my laptop so it would charge.  When I went to bed, it had about 30% showing on the battery — still charging.

I made a mistake and closed my laptop — that essentially turns off the charging features of the laptop — so the phone stopped charging — my bad.

Then, I came back to the thing this morning — 8 hours later, I slept in — and you know what?  It’s almost out of battery.  Well, that makes sense — 8 hours of just sitting still should use 30% of the entire battery.

This thing is like a Tamagotchi — it’s an electronic pet you have to tend to all the time so it won’t die.

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I got a voicemail!  Exciting.  My “Messages” app (the one with the envelope on it) had a star on it (not to be confused with my other “mgm…” app right next to it, that has an envelope AND the world, which also had a star on it but indicates email, not messages — but you can also track your email in the messages list — try to keep up).

So, I thought “oh boy!  I can check my visual voicemail! (available for $9.95 extra per month)” — so I went looking for it.  Since nothing is alphabetical, I had to look for the icon, which is intuitively marked with the torso of a person with green lines coming OUT of its left ear.  Once I found that, I clicked on it, so I could easily and visually review my voicemail!

Here’s how:

1. Click the handy dandy icon, filled with anticipation because you’re about to just SEE your voicemails in a second instead of having to do all that stupid dialing and listening to prompts!
2. Discover that you have no messages.  Wait … what?  I have voicemail messages — my envelope icon (not the other envelope icon right next to it) told me so!
3. Oh wait — there’s another icon over here marked “SMS and m…”, it has a picture of a cellphone and an envelope.  It’s got a star on it!!!  Let’s check it!
4. It says I have a voicemail as “1 NEW VOICEMAIL 0 URG 1 TOTAL *86″ … that probably means I have one new voicemail, no urgent and 1 total (star eighty six you sexy Blackberry user)
5. I’ll click that!  Oh look, it’s a full screen version of the same statement.  I’m glad I was able to see that!
6. Must be back at the Visual Voicemail (available for $9.95 per month) by now!  The message was sent at 5:51am (or 5:53am if you view it in full-screen mode).
7. Visual Voicemail says I have no messages.  Let me push the magic button to pull up the Menu.
8. Ahhh… stupid me — I thought Visual Voicemail was an active message checker — you know … like “Messages” and “mgm…” and “SMS and m…” — but it’s a passive system.  I need to click “Check for Messages” (with my giant man fingers) … well… ok.
9. There is checking going on because the little arrows on the application are flashing madly from white to off-white and then white again.  Let’s wait for the voicemail.
10. Still waiting.
11. Hmmm… by now I could have just called my voicemail.
12. I think I’ll just call voicemail.
13. Ahhh— it’s a message from my friend Chris, I’m listening to it on speakerphone — that’s clear and concise, by the way.
14. Oh … my screen has gone black, I want to see what I’m doing – I’ll push the “red means go” button, which on the takeitBackberry means “go to the homepage”
15. Haha … no, when you’re using the phone it means hangup.  Stupid me and my expectations of consistency.  I’m so dumb, but the people at RIM are so smart.  I wish I was them.
16. Well — that was fun chasing down a voicemail on my phone that is desperately clinging to my laptop because it sucks battery like a crack user in Columbia …
17. Don’t forget to turn off all the applications you opened!  It’s a simple 10-step process!  Do it, or the battery will die even faster!  You now have: Visual Voicemail, Messages, mgmead…, and SMS and m… open and running in the background.  I think “Phone” doesn’t count.

I gotta say — that’s eerie and ironic timing.  I’m glad my pleasure is so important to Apple that, while I was posting the last message — they sent me news that the next iPhone is ready for my review.  Are they watching me?

Thus far:

I have been grappling with the fact that the device leaves every application you touch open in the background — sucking up resources.

For example — I opened some mini-app for a moment to see what it was, then navigated to the home page.  The mini-app was running the entire time thereafter… dumb.

However, if I wanted to turn it off, I can simply:

1. Navigate back to the app by hitting the “Menu” button — which is designated by a bunch of dots all in a cluster, but I must HOLD the Menu button to make the super secret application switcher window pop up.
2. The super secret application switcher window shows the 4 apps I currently have open.  Oh wait — my bad — if I use the super-duper secret left swipe gesture while viewing the super secret application switcher window, I will see a horizontally scrolling display of all the applications I have open — oh my, I’ve opened a lot.
3. While using the super secret application switcher window, and scrolling to the left to get to my mini-app, I notice that I have another app open — let’s say it’s Facebook — make a mental note — I’ll have to close that app in a second.
4. Now, simply scroll to the left to select the mini-app that I wanted closed, click on the icon for the mini-app that I’m trying to CLOSE mind you, bring it to the front.
5. Having brought it to the front, you will notice that the super secret application switcher window disappears.  Simply click the menu button (indicated by the International sign for menu, which is a bunch of dots in a group), but DO NOT HOLD IT.  Having just clicked the button, your Menu for this mini-app appears.
6. Using your pre-existing knowledge that only a portion of the menu is showing, use the super-duper double-trick gesture to make the menu scroll up — this will bring new choices to your view — now this list may change from app to app — so feel free to just swipe at any menu you see.
7. We’re still closing an app, remember?
8. Do the super-duper double-trick gesture a few times, passing choices like “Move” (which doesn’t actually move anything), “Move to Folder” (a slightly more powerful version of “Move”), the randomly appearing “New Folder”, “Options” (which may take you to options related to this mini-app, OR global system options — or maybe to a magical place where all options live together in harmony, dancing in circles and waiting for clicks to fall from the sky), and so on … keep scrolling and scrolling — and eventually you will hit the bottom of the menu, which is always the word “close” (unless you’re using Visual Voicemail (for only $9.95 extra each month)), which seems to not have the ability to close.
9. With your big fat man finger (in my case), click the tiny 8-point font word, and poof — you’re back to the home screen.
10. Remember Facebook?  Oh, that’s open — let’s go and close it!
11. Hold down the Menu dots button to bring up the super secret application window, gesture to the left to find Facebook, click Facebook, bring it to the front (notice that the Blackberry Messenger application is running also, that will be fun to close).
12. Perform steps 2-10 or so to close Facebook — 2 apps down, about 10 to go.
13. Let’s try it on the Blackberry Messenger App.  Perform steps 1-10 on that app.
14. What?!!! It’s not gone from the super secret application switcher window!  It’s still there!
15. I must have done something wrong — let’s try it again — repeat step 13, which is really steps 1-10.
16. It’s still there!!! Dread!  I’m a fool — I can’t close this app!!!
17. Oh… that’s because it’s part of the ultra-purple top secret group of applications that don’t ever leave the super secret application switcher window.  Phew — thought I was just going nuts.

Well — let’s open the Help app to learn what I’m doing wrong in general — there must be an easy way to do these things.  Click the red “end” button in order to go to the Home screen — keeping with Blackberry’s intuitive “stop means go” theme from their other phones.

Select the giant Question Mark icon marked Help.  Seems like a good start.
Oh look — it’s a tight list of helpful topics … so tight in fact, that my giant man fingers can’t click anything — why is it highlighting all the words?  I don’t want to cut and paste — I just want to click on this line that talks about setting up the Home page — click (no!) … hit the escape key (marked with a curved arrow, which we all know means “escape” and not go back — unless you’re clicking it to go back — which it also does) … take my tiny fingernails and try to select the line about the Home page. 

Thanks, Help system — that sucked.  I’m gonna hit the handy dandy red off button and go back to the Home page.

Oh dang — I left the Help application running — better go and close it … we all know how to do that now, don’t we?

I got the Blackberry Storm.  I told the very nice girl at the store that I wanted to make sure that it can be turned off so I can put it in my pocket and not pocket-dial.

She assured me that it totally can — and showed me the brand new exciting “lock” button that has everyone atwitter with excitement.

Here’s how the lock button works:

1. Push the lock button (be sure not to hit the buttons on the sides of the device while grabbing the device so you can push the awkwardly placed lock button)
2. Stand there.
3. Watch the screen dim — isn’t it cool?
4. No wait … keep watching… see how it gets darker all smoothly?  Isn’t that cool?
5. Still watching?  It’s almost dark, get it?  It’s not quite dim yet — but go ahead — watch it some more.
6. Is it dark?  What?  Already?  Awesome dude — you are a rockin’ Crackberry user!  High-five!
7. Put it in your pocket.
8. Watch it light up again.
9. Take it out — return to step 1, you total radical monster tech-user!

Funny side story — It was 2006 that I tried my last Blackberry.  How do I know this?  Because once we got my system set up again (which took about 30 minutes because RIM, the makers of Blackberry, still had me assigned to the old phone of yesteryear — which resulted in a message that said (and I quote) “Your account has been disabled.  Please contact your IT Specialist.”) … as I was saying — when my system got started again (did I mention that I AM the IT Specialist?  The girl behind the counter didn’t know what it meant — nobody did — they all called around … they finally called tech support — who wanted to know my email address and password.  I smiled and said no.) … so when my system finally got configured — the email came in with the newest messages from my current account and two old emails, from 2006, that basically said “Welcome to Verizon Blackberry!” … thanks for that.

So far — I’m semi-non-plussed with this.

I also signed up for VCast with Rhapsody and it looks like I’m having to pay more than the more I already signed up to pay?

But hey — it’s alright — the screen goes click and the system only ignores my clicks most of the time.

Is the silly little device afraid of me yet?  I don’t think so …

Children die.
People suffer for no reason.
Lonely people ache.
Anger breeds contempt breeds rage breeds violence breeds pain breeds despair breeds death.
We are completely alone with each other, waiting for the statistical inevitability of our own mutual self-destruction.
The universe is an anomalous sphere of cold dark, filled with radiation, rocks, and brief moments of synchronicity that resembles life.

Or Love exists.

We are smarter than anyone before us.
We can conquer everything we see.
We know the answers and can put it all together alone.
We don’t need each other.
We should look out for ourselves.

Or Love exists.

You can live in darkness if you choose.
You can deny all mysticism if you want.
You can detest me for my beliefs if you must.

Or Love exists.

No calculator, scientist, chemist, philosopher, or king can explain away my mind.
No genius, politician, antagonist, warrior, terrorist, or atheist can explain away your experience of me.
No fool, comedian, actor, singer, or poet can explain away our hearts.
I will look at art, not with the heart of a mathematician, but with the desire of a Believer.
I will seek the sun, not with the eyes of a general, but with the face of child.
I will examine the melodies, not with the ear of a listener, but with the voice of a reveler.

I Believe.

This is how you can get serial console on a Mac — very important — completely dry.  Humans should not read this link.

N.E.R.D.: USB-to-Serial console for Mac (OSX).

• It is free and simply asks me to pay the people in charge when I choose — I like that because it allows me to be magnanimous
• It is well made — I installed it in one night without issue
• It is well supported — the opensource community behind it makes all sorts of awesome plugins regularly
• I can add these plugins and seem to be amazingly powerful without breaking a sweat
• While I am a super tech, I do not need to be a super tech in order to enjoy this software
• It allows me to write to it by email — and use “on the fly” formatting like bold and underline (oooh) without writing klunky HTML (ugh) in my email by hand

Therefore, I believe everyone should use Wordpress forever!  Hurray!