May 2004 Archives

So today is Memorial Day... and it's raining.

We're going to have just a regular day I suppose, no barbecue or fireworks or anything. Primarily it's just a day of rest and contemplation.

The Lord taught me an interesting thing about prayer yesterday -- something I've known before but seemed to have forgotten.

Recently, I've been pondering how to pray -- what to say, when to say it -- how to start...

Well, yesterday in church, after communion, I got back to my pew and started to pray -- and I started with "I don't know what to say..."

The Lord responded with, "Then don't say anything."

So I remained silent -- and it was a good prayer time. It was a time of simple communion with God, listening to His wonder and His words.

That's a nice thing -- a nice worship and quality time with God.

I know it's simple, but when things are getting hectic -- when you're fighting a lot of different worldly concerns -- you sometimes get frantic with your prayer life -- you look for the "magic thing" to say to God so that you'll show you've learned the lesson, or have the breakthrough and get on to the next thing.

But sometimes -- silence is enough.

It's God's mercy that we love the most -- it's our obedience that He loves.

Ok ... this isn't much for visual changes, but I think that the green looks better.

Also -- I've added a gadget on my new mac that lets me write a journal entry there, then post it to this thing... which may get me being a little more prolific, because I tend not to visit this site unless I've got something to say.

Meanwhile, let's see, what's going on? Well, at work, things are a struggle -- but in a good way. God's given us challenges financially. He's got us flying low and fast over the treetops -- looking for jobs and revenue -- but what else is new?

I think it's good for my coworker, "G", who has her own walk with Christ and is, quite frankly, doing very well with it. It's not my place to tell her things like that, but I'm really impressed with how she's facing a seriously difficult struggle regarding finances for the company and herself. I'm learning a lot watching her.

Hmmm... what else is going on? Let's see. I've been struggling a lot with how harsh I feel I get treated by some of the leadership at Church -- but that's just me wanting things to be about me, and not about Christ. I mean, let's face it, I'm not God and I never will be. He made things the way they are and He's decided that they should continue to be that way. This is a God who can cut a second infinitely, and do it all in a flash -- and I'm wandering around thinking that it's falling behind ... that things should happen according to my schedule and not His. Well -- if anything -- that struggle has taught me a lot about patience... kinda scary that right now I'm listening to Elton John (on Itunes -- yay Mac) -- singing Rocket Man, of all things -- and the refrain is "...and I think it's gonna be a long, long time..."

Well, that's something I need to learn to accept. God put people where they are, and has allowed the circumstances to move the way they do for a reason. Maybe my service to Him is simply to stand in opposition, to put pressure on a system to ensure that it keeps moving in the right direction ... and for me, the system is there so I can see that I won't be included in everything that God does...

and for the kids -- the struggles are not about them, nor are they bound to be exposed to the level that I feel them -- except maybe those of you that actually read this blog

Time is nothing to God, that's the basic truth. Can I really think that there's a schedule on His plan? This is a God who says to us in the Bible -- "I'm coming soon..." and still hasn't shown for 2,000 years -- time means nothing -- time is a location to God, not a movement... and here I am grumbling because I want things to happen in the little linear plan that I've written up for God. I'm blessed... because the response is not a bolt of lightning leaving me standing there all smokey and crisp like a Daffy Duck cartoon

God is good, children ... always good. He takes care of us -- takes care of me and takes care of you. If things aren't the way you want -- well, see the blessing that they are the way God wants -- then figure out WHY He wants them that way. It's baffling when you think of it that way -- and usually educational. Consider the wonder of God's Way -- every moment -- every second -- even the ones that are in EXACT opposition to Him -- are happening according to His Plan (go listen to My Heavenly - Jars of Clay - which of course is the random tune that just started while I'm writing this :)

This thing we struggle through -- it's a struggle because we want things one way and God knows it already is another way. You gotta see that He always knows what is, because to Him, it's all at once. And if He's seeing that -- and looking to the last day of your life, and the first, He's seeing it all and knowing that you're gonna be ok, because you accepted Christ -- so He puts your path where it can go for the best good to the next person. You see? You're not a person walking a day to day -- you're an instrument, given to God, that He plays by bending the strings, plucking hard at them, making them vibrate and change -- He manipulates your life like a beautiful instrument so that everything that happens is in harmony and not only with itself -- but also with the millions of live that He's playing at the same time -- all for beautiful music... all so that the concert will eventually come to a great ultimate crescendo -- one super, awesome, complete note of Praise that resounds and echos forever throughout time ... how cool is that? God rocks :)