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A Bold Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father, I pray this prayer in the power of the Holy Spirit,
I thank You for all that You have done in my life and all that I know You
are going to do. (Thank Him for specific blessings each day)

I confess that I am healed and whole, physically, mentally, emotionally,
and spiritually, and as your child, I stand on your Word, that no weapon
formed against me shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17). I put on the whole armor
of God according to Eph. 6:10-18.

I have a blood covenant with You, Father, and because of this covenant,
I have authority over all ungodliness that may come against me or my
family. I bind and render useless all spoken negative words directed at me, or my family, or anyone I love, or anybody that works for me or my business, which is Your business in Truth;
whether those negative words be witchcraft, psychic, or soul force or any other
spiritual or worldly device.

I bind and bring to no effect, all demonic attacks against myself, my
family and my loved ones, my friends and employees, our minds, our bodies, our home, our automobiles, our finances, all areas of our lives. I use my authority in the name of Jesus Christ to bind any fear spirits, hindering spirits, and deceiving spirits, including gossip, slander,
jealousy, pride, envy, strife, and anger, that may try to come against me, my loved ones, my friends, my associates and my business.

Lord. I ask you to fill me afresh today with the Holy Spirit, to lead and
guide me, giving me wisdom, knowledge, and discernment over all I do. As I walk in
Your love please let me be prosperous in all I set my hand to do.

I pray for opportunities to share the Gospel and plant seeds. I pray for
the wisdom to walk in Your will and to make the right choices. I call
forth divine appointments and open doors of opportunity to share my
testimony, and I will give You all the glory, honor, and praise always!

I cover myself, my family, all my loved ones, my friends, my employees and my business with the protective power of the blood of Jesus Christ. I ask the protection of your holy angels to surround us, (our children and our grandchildren, and all my descendents) in every area of our lives.

I ask this prayer in the power and precious name of Jesus Christ, my Lord, and
Savior and I make these declarations in Christ's name. Amen.

So, we'll be talking about the Holy Spirit Gift of Discernment this Sunday. Discernment is being able to sense that which is not detected by the 5 "standard" senses, and it comes as a direct result of a Gift of the Spirit.

It represents a communication link between your heart and the Word of God, by way of the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit.

There is a realm, or "world" outside of this one that is, believe it or not, more real than our own, after all, God is Present in it all the time, and wherever God is, True Reality is.

So here we are, blind, cut off, not able to see this realm, sense it in any natural way... and being cut off from God, we're "dead" ... no longer among the Living, spiritually.

Then God sends His Son, Jesus Christ, into our fallen world to exercise His power, and bring us back to life:

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3 All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. 4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions — it is by grace you have been saved. 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7 in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith — and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God — 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. Eph 2:1-9

So, here we are -- brought back to life by Christ, in the Spirit -- and being tended to by the Holy Spirit daily, while we remain in this fallen and dead world.

But God is tremendously efficient, and won't just let us sit here, idle... so through our connection with the Holy Spirit, some of us are given the capacity to Discern what's really happening in the Spiritual realm, by means of an open heart-contact with the Holy Spirit.

This Discernment allows us to sense things that others wouldn't normally sense, and -- through our constant living relationship with the Holy Spirit, to pray for the situation and thereby bring greater Glory to God.

Discernment -- seeing the true Kingdom of God, not with the eyes in your head, but with the eyes in your heart.

So, I've opted to try, once again, to blog regularly. You'll know by the list whether I succeed, but here we go.

So the topic of the day is Talking to God, also known as prayer.

Paul tells us:

Eph. 6:18
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

This passage means that you need to be chattering away to God all the time, and that you should be praying for all the saints (that's all Christians).

So, how do you pray all the time? Well, Paul explains that also, pray in the Spirit -- meaning be in the Spirit and open your heart to God.

Some may experience this through their personal prayer language, while others may experience this at first as just chatting with God as if he were on speakerphone in your car or something.

Chat -- there's a time for Reverent Prayer, but God made you for a fellowship, for a relationship. He uses phrases like Father, Son, Child, to describe our relationship -- family words. Do you go around submitting requests to your parents in a formalized tone? Nah ... you just talk at them -- they're family.

God wants you to be His family.

Pray constantly -- also known as "talk His ear off", either out loud, or in your mind -- just call the Holy Spirit to give you the words and go...

"...so anyway God, I finished my blog... for the day... now what?"

So, as some of you know, I'm now Youth Minister for my church. It's pretty cool, but it's also pretty heavy (anybody actually in YG with me, if you're expecting a lot of "I've got this nailed" here on my own blog, prepare to be baffled).

Anyway, what I've walked into is a crew of awesome kids who really want a living relationship with God and a place to come and hang out without judgement. The YG is small, the budget is non-existent, and the whole thing is volunteer.

I'm currently in the YG office, sifting through years of paper, throwing most of it out. This is a do-over at this point. There's a handful of things we're keeping, but most everything else is out the door and gonna be replaced by what the kids want first.

First mission from Christ accomplished - grab the wheel of the plane during transition and keep it off the ground. We're stable and level, Praise Jesus (He really knows what He's doing, He rocks).

So what's up next? Well, this crew of misfits and troublemakers, with me as the lead troublemaking misfit, are gonna start looking into missions of substance.

Already we're talking about:

• Ministry to incarcerated youth for Xmas
  
• Doing something with the military or something
  
• The ubiquitous old-folks home Xmas visit
  

But what I want to see is more -- some edge-walking, down and dirty, in your face Jesus crew stuff. Folks want to stand apart, without necessarily drawing fire -- we wear freak hats, different clothes, etc. etc. - but what sets you apart more than a love of Christ?

Being an active, full-contact Christian, is the brightest purple-haired, in your face statement anyone can make these days.

But to do it, you gotta really know the Man ... you gotta be able to reach out to Him at the drop of a hat, hear His voice, know His desires for you.

So right now -- it's all about the basics. Can you pray, do you know how to pray -- why even pray -- what about prayer anyway -- does it work? Basic hand-to-hand stuff -- basic work on the day-in-day-out living with God stuff.

Next week it's about Fellowship -- we're not alone, we don't ever do this alone, and aside from fellowship with each other, here's my backup -- have you met Him? He calls Himself God -- I think He can take you.

Anyway -- it's an uphill climb -- kids are coming and things are changing -- but I'm running as fast as I can, and I'm really grateful that there's a crew of folks helping out too.

Well, that's where I am ...

Here is what Phiona wrote in her last letter to SCYG.

Dear Friends of Saint Charles Youth Group,

Praise God!

How are you over there? Let me hope you are doing weill and how is your atmosphere over those ends? Mine is not all that fair because of the serious diseases in our country, Uganda, most especially headache due to much sunshine which is sometimes not good to our lives and other diseases like Malaria caused by mosquitoes just disturbing our nation. Please friends am requesting for your prayers as am also praying to the Almighty God to bless our country.

Back to school times, it was really an enjoyable one where by I enjoyed studies mostly Christian Religious Education (CRE) where we talk about God, how kind is God to man, Justices in the African Traditional society and very many others. I really want to thank you very much for the amount of school years you spend on me am so glad and am still with Jesus praying for you every now and then such that he rewards you the more and given an ending life. [I think she means an eternal life -- ed.]

Am at a school called East High School Niinda in Kampala, where by Kampala is a very good place full of enjoyable things. And I like my school very much am in a boarding school and am also glad that am in a boarding school and that am sponsored. Even that I thank God of what I am to be sponsored is not a simple game. And so many friends of mine and other children in Uganda are suffering alot in getting school does and some may end up dropping out of schools because of money which is a common problem mostly every where resulting in people's weaknesses.

Am in my holidays and am soon going back to school because the holiday are over and some children have already gone back to their schools toady on the 12th of September, 2005.

May God Bless You

Psalms 116:1-2
I love the lord for he heard my voice I will call on him as long as I live

Kisakye Phiona

It's Easter!!! He is Risen!

It's simple -- the tomb was empty. You can argue about everything else... you can wonder about whether He was married (ala the DaVinci Code), or whether Islam recognizes Christ (which they don't), or whether Frank Griswold is a loop...

But nobody can deny -- the tomb was empty.

The Sanhedrin would have presented His body if they'd have taken Him.

The Roman Guard put in front of the tomb was surely not overwhelmed by a bunch of women.

If the Apostles had wanted to fabricate the story, they surely wouldn't have used the testimony of a bunch of women, who at that time didn't have any social status (sad, but true).

The tomb was empty. Still is.

Happy Easter.

So, it's official. Something's The New York Times > Opinion >happening in Africa and the rest of the world is noticing. We Christians already know that the 2/3rds world (formerly known as the Third World) constitute the majority of Christianity these days. It's heartening to be watching the affect of Christ's motion on the world. Things are getting better. Slowly, but surely.

While not necessarily a bunch of books that I'm gonna go out and read any time soon, I'm totally psyched about this article: MSNBC - Female readers flock to Christian chick lit. A shift is definitely happening -- folks are just getting tired of the puke-stained floor of hedonism.

This family has touched my heart deeply. Working together with Chris Hondros and some of the military stationed in Tall Afar, I've set up the Hassan Family Fund website. Please visit it and tell your friends.

We are saved by Grace. That's understood by most Christians as a foundation of our Faith. There is nothing we can DO that will "make" God forgive us. It's not the "being good" that gets us into Heaven, it's the Faith in Christ as a Redeeming Sacrifice for us that does it.

God wants us to be forgiven. He gives us His only Son so we can truly have the chance to "do the right thing" and accept what is freely given. But that's the only doing that He expects from us. Until we believe.

When we believe, we are opened in our hearts to the Holy Spirit -- He comes in, resides with us and changes us from the inside. He transforms us, makes us new, Resurrects our souls and takes over in our lives.

THEN, we begin to act in ways we never did before. Not because of our actions to try and reach God, but because -- through Christ -- we have already reached God and His Presence is affecting us -- changing us -- making us more Perfect.

That's the process ... it's one of Grace, Belief, Acceptance, Surrender, Indwelling, then Good Works. If you don't believe that God is in you, guiding you, talking to you, residing in your life and teaching you every day -- then you're not going to change anything by "being Good".

Believe that God is in you through Christ's Sacrifice -- then start listening.

Last night I had a long talk with a friend about God and His Purposes for us all.

We talked way into the wee hours of the night -- and we figured a lot of things out.

We realized that the gifts we are given are to be used to help others find their gifts. We talked about the parable of the talents -- and how Christ teaches us that the person with one talent who uses it to help others bring their talents to God is like the first man who returns to his master with ten talents. Those talents come from the people around you -- the ones you must lead.

The person with one talent, who buries it in the dirt; in the parable he is beaten and his talent is taken away and given to the credit of the man who has ten.

That may sound harsh, but in fact, we realized, with God's help, that this person was hiding from his talent; and so this person needed the man with ten talents to lead him to finding his own. So when the man with one talent has his given to the credit of the man who has much, it is not just so he can suffer -- but actually an explanation of the relationship between those that lead and those that fear their own gifts.

Those that lead with their gifts bring others to God and receive credit in heaven for the gifts of those who they bring; those that hide from their own gifts suffer greatly in this world, and need someone to lead them to their talents.

This is the parable of the talents.

But my friend had even greater insight. She pointed out that we can also see the man with ten talents as Christ, and the landowner as God the Father. Then, those of us who seek to be like Christ are more like the person with five talents, who receive God's blessing, but are more likely to do less under our own steam than Christ himself (no kidding).

Another way to look at the person with five talents is to see the person who, given one talent, finds more in him or herself. That person does not receive the extra talent from the one who only had one talent, but is still called good and faithful servant.

In addition to all that -- we also examined what it means to be yourself. Everyone is always talking about being yourself -- being "genuine". But who is that person?

Well, that person is the one who you are when you are alone; the one you are when you lie awake at night, thinking to yourself -- the one who has tastes and ideas that are not driven by anyone else. When you are challenged by someone to name your favorite flavor of ice cream, or your favorite color -- the real you is the one who answers. Nobody can tell you anything about yourself beyond that -- nobody can determine your tastes for you; though many try to skew them.

The challenge is in bringing that real person out into the open, sharing him or her with the rest of the world, regardless of the consequences. That's a TOUGH thing to do. It is especially difficult because when you share your true self, you share your God given gifts ... and the world will be convicted by the light inside of you... and seek to put out the light that convicts it of its own darkness.

So it takes strength and a confidence in God's love to move forward into the world with your own person in the open. It takes a faith in your own God given gifts, and yet another thing we realized together last night.

It takes a servant's heart.

You can't walk around showing people your talents and expect them to love you for it -- because you're convicting them. So why do it? Because you are a servant to God and you are doing to help them find their own gifts to bring to the Lord.

That servant's heart also protects you from some of the pain -- because when you are despised for having talents -- or fearful that you are in love with your own talents -- you can retreat to the fact that you are doing this for service to others. If you are a servant to those that challenge you, you can overcome the pain.

If you become full of yourself because of your talents -- you can remember that they are with you solely to serve God by serving others.

So -- you've got talents -- we all do. Discover your talents -- use them to serve God by serving others -- use them to help others find their own talents -- and call them to serve God by serving others by helping others find their talents.

You will store treasures uncountable for yourself in heaven, friend.

Ok --

So the Lord has decided to put me on hiatus -- for those working from the back of the room, that means sabbatical; and for those still wondering, I'm gonna stop doing stuff at church for a little while.

God is good, He really is. I've been running fast and trying to hear His voice at the same time, and haven't been as successful in that work as I would have liked. But now, things are better; I've found a new connection with Christ in my heart, I'm seeking work with the Holy Spirit and overall, I'm getting closer to His Word every day.

So, in light of that, it's no wonder that recently, every time I've been faced with working at the church, He's directed me elsewhere. Purpose Driven Church, voice lessons, Joshua Ministry, even stewardship (on a limited level) have all been put into a neutral state in my life.

He's showing me that it's not the things I do that bring me closer to Him, it's being closer to Him that gives me things to do.

So, in light of that, dear readers -- expect to see a little less of me in the near future. I'm walking off into the sunset for a brief time, but I'll be back.

For now, I'm just going moment to moment and listening to God -- that's what we're all supposed to do all the time -- I'm just relearning the process.

God Bless you all :)

So today is Memorial Day... and it's raining.

We're going to have just a regular day I suppose, no barbecue or fireworks or anything. Primarily it's just a day of rest and contemplation.

The Lord taught me an interesting thing about prayer yesterday -- something I've known before but seemed to have forgotten.

Recently, I've been pondering how to pray -- what to say, when to say it -- how to start...

Well, yesterday in church, after communion, I got back to my pew and started to pray -- and I started with "I don't know what to say..."

The Lord responded with, "Then don't say anything."

So I remained silent -- and it was a good prayer time. It was a time of simple communion with God, listening to His wonder and His words.

That's a nice thing -- a nice worship and quality time with God.

I know it's simple, but when things are getting hectic -- when you're fighting a lot of different worldly concerns -- you sometimes get frantic with your prayer life -- you look for the "magic thing" to say to God so that you'll show you've learned the lesson, or have the breakthrough and get on to the next thing.

But sometimes -- silence is enough.

It's God's mercy that we love the most -- it's our obedience that He loves.

Ok ... this isn't much for visual changes, but I think that the green looks better.

Also -- I've added a gadget on my new mac that lets me write a journal entry there, then post it to this thing... which may get me being a little more prolific, because I tend not to visit this site unless I've got something to say.

Meanwhile, let's see, what's going on? Well, at work, things are a struggle -- but in a good way. God's given us challenges financially. He's got us flying low and fast over the treetops -- looking for jobs and revenue -- but what else is new?

I think it's good for my coworker, "G", who has her own walk with Christ and is, quite frankly, doing very well with it. It's not my place to tell her things like that, but I'm really impressed with how she's facing a seriously difficult struggle regarding finances for the company and herself. I'm learning a lot watching her.

Hmmm... what else is going on? Let's see. I've been struggling a lot with how harsh I feel I get treated by some of the leadership at Church -- but that's just me wanting things to be about me, and not about Christ. I mean, let's face it, I'm not God and I never will be. He made things the way they are and He's decided that they should continue to be that way. This is a God who can cut a second infinitely, and do it all in a flash -- and I'm wandering around thinking that it's falling behind ... that things should happen according to my schedule and not His. Well -- if anything -- that struggle has taught me a lot about patience... kinda scary that right now I'm listening to Elton John (on Itunes -- yay Mac) -- singing Rocket Man, of all things -- and the refrain is "...and I think it's gonna be a long, long time..."

Well, that's something I need to learn to accept. God put people where they are, and has allowed the circumstances to move the way they do for a reason. Maybe my service to Him is simply to stand in opposition, to put pressure on a system to ensure that it keeps moving in the right direction ... and for me, the system is there so I can see that I won't be included in everything that God does...

and for the kids -- the struggles are not about them, nor are they bound to be exposed to the level that I feel them -- except maybe those of you that actually read this blog

Time is nothing to God, that's the basic truth. Can I really think that there's a schedule on His plan? This is a God who says to us in the Bible -- "I'm coming soon..." and still hasn't shown for 2,000 years -- time means nothing -- time is a location to God, not a movement... and here I am grumbling because I want things to happen in the little linear plan that I've written up for God. I'm blessed... because the response is not a bolt of lightning leaving me standing there all smokey and crisp like a Daffy Duck cartoon

God is good, children ... always good. He takes care of us -- takes care of me and takes care of you. If things aren't the way you want -- well, see the blessing that they are the way God wants -- then figure out WHY He wants them that way. It's baffling when you think of it that way -- and usually educational. Consider the wonder of God's Way -- every moment -- every second -- even the ones that are in EXACT opposition to Him -- are happening according to His Plan (go listen to My Heavenly - Jars of Clay - which of course is the random tune that just started while I'm writing this :)

This thing we struggle through -- it's a struggle because we want things one way and God knows it already is another way. You gotta see that He always knows what is, because to Him, it's all at once. And if He's seeing that -- and looking to the last day of your life, and the first, He's seeing it all and knowing that you're gonna be ok, because you accepted Christ -- so He puts your path where it can go for the best good to the next person. You see? You're not a person walking a day to day -- you're an instrument, given to God, that He plays by bending the strings, plucking hard at them, making them vibrate and change -- He manipulates your life like a beautiful instrument so that everything that happens is in harmony and not only with itself -- but also with the millions of live that He's playing at the same time -- all for beautiful music... all so that the concert will eventually come to a great ultimate crescendo -- one super, awesome, complete note of Praise that resounds and echos forever throughout time ... how cool is that? God rocks :)

So, I was going through a FUNK! It was very bad and I was very unhappy about it. It started during Lenten season, when I opted to give up a bunch of stuff, as usual. But this time, the Lord guided me to also start getting up earlier, so I could pray and have Quiet Time with Him.

At first, it was great, but in short order, I started getting tired.

Then, the adversary was right there, waiting and watching. Now for some dense reason, I was not able to remember that the adversary takes it UP a notch during Lent; instead I was under the impression (I have NO idea why) that the adversary would back off -- respect the "holiness" of my fasting and give me a break.

How dumb.

So, by the time Lent was coming around the bend into Easter, I was tired, cranky, had gotten snappy at my family, was becoming confused about my prayers ("Hey, why does God need prayer? He doesn't need prayer. So why should I pray?"), and all around getting the stuffing beat out of me by my old friends Confusion, Frustration, Fatigue and Rage.

Not a good scene.

So, there I am, telling God that I TOTALLY understand that it's not about me... that I KNOW it's about Him, that I KNOW it's about His Will, not my own. What do I have to DO to get Him to know that I understand and surrender? How do I SHOW Him that I understand that this is all about God.

So I raise these weak prayers through the static, go through the motions, face the darkness, struggle with the demons, and get quieter and quieter in my own struggle.

Quick check -- what have we got? Let's see -- I'm no longer able to communicate with the Lord, I'm isolating myself from my brothers and sisters in Christ, I'm no longer feeling any real connection with God's Presence (though I know constantly that He is there), I'm running out of energy, and I'm trying to figure out what I need to do to make it all better.

Well, long story short -- I got to a place where I was even screaming at God. I was telling Him all sorts of silly things -- and He took it, like He always does. He even comforted me, because He knew (as I know now) that this was a painful growth experience for me.

So, over time, I began to finally bring my troubles to my friends at church. First I asked Jeff Brown for a little prayer cover -- that got me on my feet enough to get the strength to ask for more help.

I checked in with Father Jack, and He helped me with the most BASIC, low-level Spirit stuff -- he basically jump-started my prayer life again.

Jack came over to my house and helped me to sanctify parts of it that needed some focus from all the things I'd been addressing. Coincidentally, Al and Starr just "happened" to be around while that was going on, so we had a fellowship around it in the process... and Kathy and I got a nice batch of Holy Water to boot :)

Ok ... so now I got some prayer working, hey God, little help? I'm at my wit's end ... confused -- show me something... what should I DO?!!!!

Have Faith in Me, He says. Let MY Plan be sufficient.

Ok, I'm in, but HOW?

I get my first breath of fresh air on the way to work, when I realize that I'm getting my head above water, that the Lord is lifting me up again -- so I gave Him thanks and praise... have a basically nice day.

Then I go to BSF, and there it is, in plain words, for me to understand.

The lecturer is discussing 7 aspects of a Christian life. He has decided to make them all start with the letter "C". There's the standards: Covenant, Commitment, etc.

The last one hit home. Made it all clear.

"Collapse".

I'm struggling for what to do -- trying to figure it all out -- and God makes it so easy and so clear that only a complicated knowitall like me could mess it up.

Basically, the conversation is like this:

"God, what should I DO to show you that I know it's all about YOUR Will, not mine? Tell me and I'll do it -- anything!!!"

"Fall over."

I'm feeling much better now :)

So, a close friend of ours at church is in trouble, healthwise. She had something akin to a stroke, she's only in her 40's. They sent her home a few days ago, and we all had a sense that things were getting better for her.

Then, today, out of the blue, she had another episode, and they had to medivac her to the hospital at Harborview.

I wanted to do something, I wanted to make a significant prayer, something to really "affect" the situation, make a difference, be profound. I wanted to get involved.

But God had other plans.

So first, He made me sit still at home, just dealing with the news. I wanted to get in my car and go over to her house, help our Pastor, just be of some use; but God made me try to fix my lawnmower first, He kept telling me to stay at home, stand still, stop trying to DO and just be.

Well, I really got this feeling that He was almost setting up my timing, making me wait for just the right second to go.

So, then the thought crossed my mind that I needed to get some plumbing supplies, which was ok, and oh, by the way, I would probably pass by her house on the way... coincidentally...

So God let me get in the car...

I prayed a bit, I told Jesus how confused I was, and I headed out.

My car had little or no fuel, so I had to stop, add more time and delay.

While my gas was pumping, I went into the store to buy a roll of Rolaids, add more mystery time.

Then I was onto the road that God was letting me go on, just driving. I almost turned around, I almost went back and did what He had wanted me to do, but I didn't. And then it happened...

You see, you gotta understand something...

God had told me to sit still... I was the one who had come up with the idea to get plumbing supplies. God had given me every opportunity to do His Will, and I made excuses and justifications that got me going there.

So when I had heard the last call to turn around, to head back, and rationalized my way past it, a pickup truck drove by in the opposite direction and something flew out of it's bed... no wait... that's a bird!

I immediately pulled over... the bird was on the road... I looked and no cars were coming...

I grabbed a sheet from my trunk and ran to the bird... without delay I scooped it up and put it by the side of the road... and started to pray.

I did one of the most childish things I've done in a long time -- I laid my hand on the clearly dead or dying bird, and prayed for God to let it live, to give it life, to just make it be ok.

...and that's when it hit me...

...what God had been telling me all along...

there is nothing I can DO about anything...

it's ALL in His hands...

...I can't bring a bird to life with a prayer...
...I can't make my friend better with a prayer...
...I can't do much of anything alone...

Prayer is not a magic trick... prayer is a way of talking with God, and He listens, but He really listens, and what He heard this time was that I want to be needed, I want to be involved, and I want to fix things.

But I can't do anything against His Will, and that means that I shouldn't be praying for my friend, I should be praying for myself... that I will be of service to God as HIS plan moves forward, not mine... that I will have the strength to obey HIS commands, and not convince Him to do things that I want...

I'm a servant, that's all. I've never seen a household where the servants spend all day submitting requests to the Master of the House... have you?

Well... He let me see that with the perfect timing of the bird...

then He let me drive past my friend's house, right at the moment when she was being taken out of the house on a gurney... He timed that too...

Then, He didn't punish me for my lack of faith, or my lack of faithfulness... instead, I talked with the Pastor... and Fr. Duncan was remembering that he had to go and see someone else also... another friend who just came home from surgery and is recovering.

So I asked if I could go for him, since the Pastor had to go to the hospital with this woman's mother; Fr. Duncan said that would be helpful and fine.

So I went to see my friend Tom, and we visited... it was a beautiful day, and he and his wife shared some quiet time with me...

...and after a little while, he pointed out that his computer wasn't working well... and I offered to fix it.

It was a wreck, filled with spyware, lost passwords, resident background memory hogs, the whole nine yards. I spent a few hours fixing it.

So, you see... God let me feel needed after all... but in His way, not mine. Now my recuperating friend can use his email again, and reach out to his friends and family.

Don't fight God, it's ALL in his hands.

So, I thought about it the night before. I was thinking of ways to get excluded, and I figured that wearing my cross would get me skipped. I thought I was very clever, and that I was going to get out of it all.

Then I thought about it again, was that really the right way to go? The best thing to do? Use the symbol of Christianity to avoid responsibility? Probably not. So I opted to avoid wearing the cross.

Then I thought about what Christianity means to the world. When the world looks at a Christian, don't they see a myopic, one-sided individual usually? Someone who grew up in a closed-view world, looking at everything one way? In fact, wasn't it that very view that was making me think that my cross would get me out of jury duty? They'd think I can't think clearly, so I'd be excused?

So, then I thought I must have a responsibility to wear my cross (which, btw, is not your standard "little gold cross", it's made out of horseshoe nails and hangs on a leather string around my neck). Yikes, maybe I should wear the thing and let them know that we are all not close-minded, single-note thinkers.

But maybe I had a job to do, to pursue Justice for the Lord, to make sure that the people at that court were fair and right-minded, that they didn't use a bias or their own myopic points of view to send someone down the river without fair cause. So, no cross.

That's how I went to bed.

The next morning, I decided to wear the cross, but under my shirt, so that when I got there, if I was called by the Lord to show it, it'd be available.

So I got to the jury waiting area, and that's when it hit me. That's when it became clear.

Sitting in front of me was a Microsoft contractor who definitely wanted out. He was wearing a mock-varsity jersey from Abercrombie & Fitch that said "Sinner" on the back, as if that was his name. He was wearing signs on his body to hide from his responsibilities. He was fundamentally selfish.

I talked with him and found out that he lived alone and owned two birds, who had just given birth to a baby macaw. He eventually used the required feeding of the baby macaw (it's a type of parrot) as a "hardship" excuse for getting out of jury duty. I thought that was kind of sad. On many levels. Here we were, being called in to help someone through to justice, and this man's baby bird was more important. Sin is selfishness, and boy, was his shirt right.

It was then that I realized I'm not supposed to wear my cross outwardly all the time. I should be my cross, through my actions and conversation, showing the world I'm a Christian by my love, etc.

So that's what I did.

I've taken to wearing it less, as a matter of fact. I wear it in public places where my example can only reflect on Christians if folks see it (i.e. on the ferry, in a mall, etc.); and of course to worship and fellowship times.

But when I'm going to interact with strangers, and have the chance to be more than a stranger in their lives, I keep it under my shirt; let them know I'm a Christian by asking why I act they way I do. If I'm doing my job as a Christian, they'll want to know. If not, wearing a cross isn't going to change their opinion of Christians one bit.

Jack wrote:

Malcolm - now you've got me thinking! It is a good challenge to think through the whole business of Law of Moses and what that means to us as Christians. Even among observant Jews, there is widespread diversity in faith and practice, as you know - from Hasidic Orthodox to other Orthodox Jews, to Conservative, to Reform. Much of Jewish life is devoted to discussion, argment, etc. about the Torah. Of course, the Talmud is what is more often studied and argued over. Joe Lieberman, an Orthodox Jew, has had to make some decisions about his observance in his public life. You've probably read the Chaim Potok novels about all this (The Chosen, etc.). Herman Wouk wrote a book about being observant and working in the theatre (Caine Mutiny) Can't recall the name of the book, I read it a long time ago. Among Christians, Seventh-Day Adventists take the Torah to mean they observe the sabbath on the 7th day (Christians can still keep that sabbath, but the celebration day for worship is Sunday because of resurrection, pentecost and lst day of creation) Seventh-Day Adventists, however, would never claim that salvation is through keeping the Law. Your contact is a Messianic Jew I understand from Duncan, and I must say I've never known of Messianic Jews holding to the keeping of the Torah/Talmud in the way described. Most of them do keep the 7th day as sabbath, but certainly not because it is a matter of salvation. The book of Romans clearly details all of this, plus tons of references through the letter of Paul, in ACTS, especially the Council of Jerusalem (ch. 15) and the whole of church history, creeds, doctrine. The whole point of the Christian faith is salvation through grace, not works, and to claim that works are required is not part of the Christian faith. Jesus specifically ended the food laws, as did the story of Peter's instructions from God in ACTS. Even devout Jews continuously debate the interpretation of the Law, as you well know, and it is very much part of being a Jew! You might want to consult with the Jews for Jesus mission organization and other Messianic rabbis to get other understandings of all this. The temple rituals and rules are done, because there is no Temple in Jerusalem and Jesus is the new Temple anyway. That leaves the moral law - do good, be kind, don't kill, steal, etc. etc. It is a lively discussion to discern whether laws related to tatoos (for example) are related to idolatry (what the pagans do) or to a moral law. I don't think that is how you spell tatoo by the way. You are probably going to write a book about this, and this is why you are working it through! Blessings on you! Jack

Jack,

Hi, thanks for the comments, I'm sorry for intruding on your time with Duncan.

First and foremost, I'm committed to the Truth that it is only by the Grace of Christ's Sacrifice for us that we are saved; period, end of discussion there. No works, obedience to the Law or anything else (except believing in Christ) is going to save us.

What I've been struggling with (as you know) has been the whole issue of the Law (as presented by Steve Berkowitz indirectly) and more important, the META issue of "why are you putting this question in my life, Lord?"

I struggled with it at length, and find it one of those interesting "coincidences" that we're called to watch for, that my visit with Steve et. al. was the day before I went to Dallas. Is it just interesting timing? He mentioned Yom Kippur as the reason he hunted me down and met with me, but outside of that, I am called to relegate the purpose to the Lord.

So then I had to sit down hard, with my little kindergarten understanding of the Spirit, and stare at the question of why the Lord had laid the ENTIRE LAW right down in front of me.

One of the things that came from the midrash with the Messianics (btw, they argue that it's possible to lose your salvation [not!], which is a "game over" statement in my book, so if your primary concern is pastoral, I'm pretty confident that this little lamb isn't going to stray anywhere anytime soon :)

One of the things that came from the midrash was the idea that obeying the Law is not a requirement for salvation, but it is a gift from God in response to the sense of complete uselessness we feel when faced with wanting to give something "back" to God. He gives us something to do in order to show our love for Him as His beloved children. I thought that was a nice idea... not necessarily doctrine, but a nice idea anyway.

So back to giant crate that appeared on my spiritual doorstep containing one full, unadultered copy of the Law. Do I sign the receipt? It's from God... ummm... what now? God?

Insert your standard period of knowing and loving silence from the Father :)

Meanwhile, off to Plano. Shouts of "it's not about being gay, it's about the Scripture!" (which is the truth, right on!)

Well, what's Scripture?

*ahem* -- mister, are you gonna sign for this crate or not?

Ok, so now I'm faced with a STRONG personal conviction that those who stray from Scripture are bad news (still convicted of such, thank you very much), but also facing the real question from God, "Are you going to obey my Law?"

Oh... wow... so now it's clear that I need to make a choice, should I follow the Law, get all strange in my dress and diet, "go native"?

I download a (long) list of the 613 laws of Torah as articulated by Maimonides. Oy

Ok, so I'm able to muddle through enough to know that I'm not going to be doing some of these ever. Some I'd like to do, but not quite there yet. Some (like only marry a Jewish wife) I refuse to pursue out of clear and definite love.

So then I begin to turn to my brethren about the Law.
So... what of it? I talk to some friends, I get the standard pot pourri:

1 - Jesus abolished all the Law with the New Covenant
FALSE: Christ clearly states that the Law and the Prophets hang on the Great Commandment and the Golden Rule, implying that they're still there. He also makes his famous "jot and tittle" comment about the Law, indicating that it's still around until the end of time.

2 - The Law is only for Jews
FALSE: If that were the case, we would not be grafted to the True Vine, we'd be sharing the vinyard... also, only the true heretic believes that NONE of the Law applies

3 - The Law was only there to prove to us that we are faulty
MAYBE: since we are not called to fulfill the Law for salvation, and the Lord didn't abolish ALL of the Law (or potentially any?), then was it just for fun and games, or to educate us to the nature of our fall so we could turn to God for salvation and accept Christ as our Savior?

Those three themes popped up a lot, but the most common statement was:

4 - Christ abolished PART of the Law with the New Covenant, and don't forget, it's only by Grace that we are saved.
VERY TRUE on the Grace part -- but do we TRULY see the abolition of the Law in Christ's statement regarding diet? Does He say, "The law regarding diet doesn't apply any more", or does He say something more like, "you don't understand the Law about diet and how it pertains to repentance".

So... now I'm faced with the big crate on my doorstep, the ambivalent answers (and some frustration on the part of my friends that I'm driving so hard into clearly "gray" areas), and the question: "If we are only to obey part of the Law, which part, and by what authority was that designation made?"

So first, thank you very much for the reference in the BCP, that helped!

But even that led to the "who designated the MORAL section of the Law?"

So I finally got on my knees and asked God to help me understand.

First and foremost, I signed the receipt for the entire Law.

But why? Am I know going to show up at church with fringe and funny hair? Of course not (am I going to divorce my wife to find a Jewish one, no :)

Here's what the Lord put in my mind ... He's made it perfectly clear to me that I don't have the whole picture, so bear with me.

The Law is the Law.

It is written by God and is unchanging. That which the Lord has done, let no man put asunder.
Neither the Pharisees, Maimonides nor even Paul has the authority to change the Law, though Paul does a good job of presenting Gospel regarding the Law (no heresy here, thank you :)

Christ is the Law. When God the Father gave Israel the Law to obey, they failed miserably, as do we all. They added to it, they confused it, they probably missed parts of it also. The Lord Christ arrived AS the Law to present the Truth to us all, and in so doing also pay the price we could not pay through His Almighty Grace. The Law does not die, the Law is the Law. Ergo, what happens when you try to "kill" the Law? He is eternal and comes back, just like the Law; because He is the Law.

What was the crime that Moses committed, the one unforgivable crime? David committed adultery and murder, Peter denied the Law, but God loved them. But Moses "shattered" the Law, and was refused entry into the Promised Land.
The Pharisees added to the Law and were reviled by Christ.
And here we stand ... holding our special subsection of the Law and waving it at our neighbor in accusation (justifiably).

So, where I am thus far is:

Yes, the Law is still alive in its complete entirity, and we have NEVER been expected to fulfill it completely, because God knows that we are fallen. In fact, the Law is there as a spiritual measuring device to show us our fallen nature, not to make us strive to be "two inches taller for the Lord".

By seeing our COMPLETE failure to God, our inability to walk as complete grafted members of Israel, even for one second, we only practice partial repentance. We repent of our sins, yes, but even under the all encompassing "sins we don't know" we confess only for those things that we call sins. If you don't believe eating shellfish is a sin, then repentance for unknown sin won't include accidental crab broth. (Otherwise, wouldn't the general confession cover the Bishop's unrepentant heart? Surely, his failure to repent is not resolved under the General Confession if he is unrepentant about the sin. If we are the same about the "silly laws", and find that in fact God's Law IS unchanging and eternal, are we any less unrepentant?)

This whole thing I'm getting from God is NOT a message to give up shellfish (in fact, right after my little conversation with poor Duncan, I went off to Central Market and grabbed me a pre-cooked Dungey ... mmmm... good lunch :)

It's a message that to TRULY see the nature and depth of our fallen-ness, we need to recognize that every jot and tittle stands, and that every single thing we do that is against the Law IS against the Law, and to kneel down before God and just say "If that's the case, Lord, I'm sorry, I really am. And now I understand just how far away I am from being perfect, so I'm ready to give in and live by YOUR Grace, Lord, since I will NEVER be enough of a goody-two-shoes to make it happen."

Paul discusses in Romans the issue of bringing your brother to heartache, or yourself. Christ speaks of what is in your heart. Neither state that the Law no longer stands, but (perhaps) are stating that it is about being AT PEACE with your incapability to adhere to the absolute Law. I mean, come ON, weren't some of these Laws made only to show how hard it is to follow them in an imperfect state? But is a freedom to do the thing the same as a freedom from repentance for the same act?

Paul admonishes us against using Christ's salvation as a "free pass" to just go sin, sin, sin; but in his explanation, he outlines that it is our love FOR Christ that should limit our exploration of sin, not the Law. Implicit in that statement is the idea that the Law is still present, and by virtue of the Law's presence, our sins still exist. Without the Law, where is sin? If we attempt to decrease the scope of the Law are we not attempting to remove certain sins? The message is NOT "it is now legal to jaywalk", but rather, "Don't jaywalk, but if you do, don't expect a ticket. Unless you're jaywalking on purpose."

So what's a jaywalker to do? Obey the law for fear? No. Tell people that a new rule applies and you're allowed to jaywalk? No. Explain that those who jaywalk in defiance are probably going to face consequences, because they will be seen, but those that jaywalk and repent, even every day, will be forgiven. Because it's virtually impossible to get through town without a jaywalk unless you're perfect.

So, like I said, I'm still putting it together... but, what He put in my heart and mind is this:

To embrace the entire Law is to embrace the Truth of God's message that we are to truly recognize our incapacity to ever go a moment without violating the Law until Christ returns and once again IS the Law on Earth. But our salvation is secured by Christ's sacrifice. Being the Law, His death rescinded the Law, which simultaneously removed all the sins that were accused by the Law at that moment... ALL SINS were forgiven at His death. But the Law is eternal and beyond time, so even after His death, He rose again, because the Law still applies completely - through Christ.

And the Law is coming back again, to Judge everyone ... living and dead ... and once that's done, His Kingdom will have no end -- because the Law is eternal.

So, for safe keeping, I got on my knees and made the following prayer (paraphrase :), "Lord, I'm a simple man in the face of questions like this, and I'm not certain. So if I am under the entire Law, I repent that I am so bad at fulfilling it and that I know I will continue to fail to obey it completely. Please forgive me ALL of my transgressions even those I don't feel are in my ability to fulfill. In Christ Jesus's Name, Amen."

Is your faith in the interpretations of men so complete that you would avoid such an "If" prayer outright? Should the Church?

That's basically what I'm grappling with today. Like I said, I'm not going anywhere, and thank you for giving me a pat on the back for thinking :) I know I "ski off-trail" alot, and I appreciate you taking the time.

God Bless.

Malcolm

PS - I hope you realize that these conflicts in my life are at the hand of the Father, and are lessons. I don't go looking for trouble. Personally, I'd much rather sit around smoking cigars, playing video games and being completely self-indulgent. God has other plans :)

Yep, that's right, first and foremost, before all else, I serve the Lord Jesus Christ.

Not a lot else to say, He's the Lord, and I serve Him.

Yay God!